Have you noticed how it feels when someone holds the door open for you? It’s such a simple gesture, but it can feel like an unexpected gift — a reminder that we’re seen and cared for. I remember being six months pregnant and grateful for the kindness of strangers. People would rush to hold doors, offer me a smile, or let me pass in line. It made me wonder why we don’t treat each other this way every day. And it made me realize that while others were kind, my harshest critic was right inside my own head.

For years, my internal dialogue was, well, relentless. If I misplaced my keys, it wasn’t just a moment of frustration; it was a personal assault. “Why are you such a mess? How can you be this disorganized?” This voice was downright mean, and it drained my energy and patience in ways I barely noticed until it started affecting those around me.

It took time, but through coaching programs, I learned to quiet this critic and shift toward a life that feels a lot more peaceful. Here’s what worked for me — four tips that I now use daily and share with my clients to help them live with ease.

1. Micro-Moments: A Pause That Brings You Back to Now

Stress, I’ve come to understand, doesn’t usually live in the present moment. It comes from replaying old stories or worrying about things that haven’t happened yet. I used to spiral about things I couldn’t control, but I’ve found that grounding myself in the “now” can quiet those thoughts.

Picture this: you’re in a busy grocery store, juggling a list and mentally tracking what else needs to get done today. Suddenly, stress kicks in. This is the perfect moment for a micro-moment — a tiny pause to breathe, touch a surface, or feel the ground beneath your feet. It’s such a small action, but it brings you back to where you are and what’s actually happening, helping me remember that, right now, everything is okay.

2. Decision Fatigue: When Choices Become Exhausting

One day, while standing in front of the salad dressing aisle, I had a revelation. There I was, deciding between 10 different brands of the same flavour, feeling oddly drained and frustrated. It hit me: I was drowning in choices, not just here but everywhere. I’d been making decisions all day, big and small, and it was wearing me down.

This was “decision fatigue” at work, and it showed me how powerful it is to simplify our choices. Now, I set small limits: I pick a go-to option instead of endlessly weighing choices. By reducing those tiny decisions, my mind feels clearer and more energized for things that really matter. My clients feel the same relief when they try it out — and often, it’s the small changes like these that help us find calm in the everyday.

3. Self-Kindness: Replacing Harsh Thoughts with Gentleness

When I was deep in negative self-talk, even a small slip-up would set me off. Losing my keys could lead to thoughts like, “You’re so disorganized. You’re a mess.” I used to think this was just how my mind worked. But then, as I started practicing self-compassion, I realized how much power we have over that voice.

Imagine losing something important and, instead of attacking yourself, just pausing and taking a breath. I started noticing the harshness in my thoughts and gradually replaced them with a gentler voice. “It’s okay, you’re human.” It’s amazing how that small shift can lighten your whole day. Teaching clients this practice has been one of the most rewarding things I do — because it’s so freeing to let go of that weight of self-judgment.

4. The Power of Coaching: Why We All Need a Guide

When I first started my coaching training, I was told every good coach should have a coach themselves. It sounded odd at first. But as I went through the process, I saw the magic of it. Having someone who listens without judgment and helps you see what you can’t see alone is like having an unbiased best friend. It keeps me accountable and grounded, and I truly believe everyone could benefit from having that kind of support.

The more I work with clients, the more I realize they don’t always know what they don’t know. Having a coach opens up those blind spots, helping them see areas for growth they’d never have found alone. It’s why I recommend that everyone work with a coach — it brings a new layer of self-awareness, and, ultimately, peace.

A Few Ways to Start Today:

• Practice Self-Kindness: Notice your inner voice when things go wrong. If it’s harsh, pause and replace it with something gentler.

• Try a Micro-Moment: When stress creeps in, take a few seconds to focus on your breath or feel the ground beneath you. It’s a small but powerful way to feel grounded.

• Reduce Decision Fatigue: Start limiting the small decisions you make each day. Pick go-to options, and see how it frees up mental space.

• Consider Coaching: If you’re ready for support, reach out - let me be your coach. It’s like having someone in your corner who helps you see your own path more clearly.

These shifts are small but build up to create a more manageable, fulfilling life. With a little self-kindness, fewer exhausting choices, and a supportive guide, you’ll find yourself navigating each day with more ease and joy.